The First Web Folio Edition of Shakespeare's Works
Before Gloucester's castle. |
[Enter KENT and OSWALD, severally] |
OSWALD | Good dawning to thee, friend: art of this house? |
KENT | Ay. |
OSWALD | Where may we set our horses? |
KENT | I' the mire. |
OSWALD | Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me. | 5 |
KENT | I love thee not. |
OSWALD | Why, then, I care not for thee. |
KENT | If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee | ||
care for me. |
OSWALD | Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not. | 10 |
KENT | Fellow, I know thee. |
OSWALD | What dost thou know me for? |
KENT | A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a | ||
base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, | |||
hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a | 15 | ||
lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, | |||
glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; | |||
one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a | |||
bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but | |||
the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, | 20 | ||
and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I | |||
will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest | |||
the least syllable of thy addition. |
OSWALD | Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail | ||
on one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee! | 25 |
KENT | What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou | ||
knowest me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up | |||
thy heels, and beat thee before the king? Draw, you | |||
rogue: for, though it be night, yet the moon | |||
shines; I'll make a sop o' the moonshine of you: | 30 | ||
draw, you whoreson cullionly barber-monger, draw. | |||
[Drawing his sword] |
OSWALD | Away! I have nothing to do with thee. |
KENT | Draw, you rascal: you come with letters against the | ||
king; and take vanity the puppet's part against the | |||
royalty of her father: draw, you rogue, or I'll so | 35 | ||
carbonado your shanks: draw, you rascal; come your ways. |
OSWALD | Help, ho! murder! help! |
KENT | Strike, you slave; stand, rogue, stand; you neat | ||
slave, strike. | |||
[Beating him] |
OSWALD | Help, ho! murder! murder! | 40 | |
[Enter EDMUND, with his rapier drawn, CORNWALL, | |||
REGAN, GLOUCESTER, and Servants] |
EDMUND | How now! What's the matter? |
KENT | With you, goodman boy, an you please: come, I'll | ||
flesh ye; come on, young master. |
GLOUCESTER | Weapons! arms! What 's the matter here? |
CORNWALL | Keep peace, upon your lives: | 45 | |
He dies that strikes again. What is the matter? |
REGAN | The messengers from our sister and the king. |
CORNWALL | What is your difference? speak. |
OSWALD | I am scarce in breath, my lord. |
KENT | No marvel, you have so bestirred your valour. You | 50 | |
cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee: a | |||
tailor made thee. |
CORNWALL | Thou art a strange fellow: a tailor make a man? |
KENT | Ay, a tailor, sir: a stone-cutter or painter could | ||
not have made him so ill, though he had been but two | 55 | ||
hours at the trade. |
CORNWALL | Speak yet, how grew your quarrel? |
OSWALD | This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spared | ||
at suit of his gray beard,-- |
KENT | Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! My | 60 | |
lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this | |||
unbolted villain into mortar, and daub the wall of | |||
a jakes with him. Spare my gray beard, you wagtail? |
CORNWALL | Peace, sirrah! | ||
You beastly knave, know you no reverence? | 65 |
KENT | Yes, sir; but anger hath a privilege. |
CORNWALL | Why art thou angry? |
KENT | That such a slave as this should wear a sword, | ||
Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as these, | |||
Like rats, oft bite the holy cords a-twain | 70 | ||
Which are too intrinse t' unloose; smooth every passion | |||
That in the natures of their lords rebel; | |||
Bring oil to fire, snow to their colder moods; | |||
Renege, affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks | |||
With every gale and vary of their masters, | 75 | ||
Knowing nought, like dogs, but following. | |||
A plague upon your epileptic visage! | |||
Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool? | |||
Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain, | |||
I'ld drive ye cackling home to Camelot. | 80 |
CORNWALL | Why, art thou mad, old fellow? |
GLOUCESTER | How fell you out? say that. |
KENT | No contraries hold more antipathy | ||
Than I and such a knave. |
CORNWALL | Why dost thou call him a knave? What's his offence? | 85 |
KENT | His countenance likes me not. |
CORNWALL | No more, perchance, does mine, nor his, nor hers. |
KENT | Sir, 'tis my occupation to be plain: | ||
I have seen better faces in my time | |||
Than stands on any shoulder that I see | 90 | ||
Before me at this instant. |
CORNWALL | This is some fellow, | ||
Who, having been praised for bluntness, doth affect | |||
A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb | |||
Quite from his nature: he cannot flatter, he, | 95 | ||
An honest mind and plain, he must speak truth! | |||
An they will take it, so; if not, he's plain. | |||
These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness | |||
Harbour more craft and more corrupter ends | |||
Than twenty silly ducking observants | 100 | ||
That stretch their duties nicely. |
KENT | Sir, in good sooth, in sincere verity, | ||
Under the allowance of your great aspect, | |||
Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire | |||
On flickering Phoebus' front,-- | 105 |
CORNWALL | What mean'st by this? |
KENT | To go out of my dialect, which you | ||
discommend so much. I know, sir, I am no | |||
flatterer: he that beguiled you in a plain | |||
accent was a plain knave; which for my part | 110 | ||
I will not be, though I should win your displeasure | |||
to entreat me to 't. |
CORNWALL | What was the offence you gave him? |
OSWALD | I never gave him any: | ||
It pleased the king his master very late | 115 | ||
To strike at me, upon his misconstruction; | |||
When he, conjunct and flattering his displeasure, | |||
Tripp'd me behind; being down, insulted, rail'd, | |||
And put upon him such a deal of man, | |||
That worthied him, got praises of the king | 120 | ||
For him attempting who was self-subdued; | |||
And, in the fleshment of this dread exploit, | |||
Drew on me here again. |
KENT | None of these rogues and cowards | ||
But Ajax is their fool. | 125 |
CORNWALL | Fetch forth the stocks! | ||
You stubborn ancient knave, you reverend braggart, | |||
We'll teach you-- |
KENT | Sir, I am too old to learn: | ||
Call not your stocks for me: I serve the king; | |||
On whose employment I was sent to you: | 130 | ||
You shall do small respect, show too bold malice | |||
Against the grace and person of my master, | |||
Stocking his messenger. |
CORNWALL | Fetch forth the stocks! As I have life and honour, | ||
There shall he sit till noon. | 135 |
REGAN | Till noon! till night, my lord; and all night too. |
KENT | Why, madam, if I were your father's dog, | ||
You should not use me so. |
REGAN | Sir, being his knave, I will. |
CORNWALL | This is a fellow of the self-same colour | 140 | |
Our sister speaks of. Come, bring away the stocks! | |||
[Stocks brought out] |
GLOUCESTER | Let me beseech your grace not to do so: | ||
His fault is much, and the good king his master | |||
Will cheque him for 't: your purposed low correction | |||
Is such as basest and contemned'st wretches | 145 | ||
For pilferings and most common trespasses | |||
Are punish'd with: the king must take it ill, | |||
That he's so slightly valued in his messenger, | |||
Should have him thus restrain'd. |
CORNWALL | I'll answer that. | 150 |
REGAN | My sister may receive it much more worse, | ||
To have her gentleman abused, assaulted, | |||
For following her affairs. Put in his legs. | |||
[KENT is put in the stocks] | |||
Come, my good lord, away. | |||
[Exeunt all but GLOUCESTER and KENT] |
GLOUCESTER | I am sorry for thee, friend; 'tis the duke's pleasure, | 155 | |
Whose disposition, all the world well knows, | |||
Will not be rubb'd nor stopp'd: I'll entreat for thee. |
KENT | Pray, do not, sir: I have watched and travell'd hard; | ||
Some time I shall sleep out, the rest I'll whistle. | |||
A good man's fortune may grow out at heels: | 160 | ||
Give you good morrow! |
GLOUCESTER | The duke's to blame in this; 'twill be ill taken. | ||
[Exit] |
KENT | Good king, that must approve the common saw, | ||
Thou out of heaven's benediction comest | |||
To the warm sun! | 165 | ||
Approach, thou beacon to this under globe, | |||
That by thy comfortable beams I may | |||
Peruse this letter! Nothing almost sees miracles | |||
But misery: I know 'tis from Cordelia, | |||
Who hath most fortunately been inform'd | 170 | ||
Of my obscured course; and shall find time | |||
From this enormous state, seeking to give | |||
Losses their remedies. All weary and o'erwatch'd, | |||
Take vantage, heavy eyes, not to behold | |||
This shameful lodging. | 175 | ||
Fortune, good night: smile once more: turn thy wheel! | |||
[Sleeps] |
This edition copyright © 2000 Dana Spradley, Publisher, shakespeare.com. Originally derived from the Complete Moby Shakespeare(tm), which is now in the public domain.
'The First Web Folio Edition' is a trademark of Dana Spradley, Publisher, shakespeare.com. All rights reserved.
If you're not reading this on shakespeare.com, you're in the wrong place.